Luke 12:28, "If then God so clothe the grass, which is today in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?"
Recently, I was having a really down day about fund raising and not being able to return to Peru. I needed to sell my house. That was not going to be an option without losing thousands and thousands of dollars. Thank you economy. Okay, I needed a renter. Where would this come from? How do you find a renter? Hmmm, I am not sure. What would I do if I could not raise enough funds to return to Peru? What if I only raised a portion? How would I live and where? I was tired, stressed, and at the end of my rope. Basically, I was having a good ole pity party for myself. Rather than immediately going to the Lord in prayer, I sunk right down into the pity pit. It was deep and crowded with doubts and second guessing.
This culminated on a Sunday afternoon when I was driving back from a church visit and had several hours to pray and think about returning to the field and all of the needs that had to be met before I returned (sell or rent the house, raise a ton of money, etc.). I ended up on the phone with my good friend, fellow team member, wise counsel, and pastor, Allen Smith. Bless his heart. He had no idea what he was walking into, but he was a champ and walked with me as I paced in my pity pit. (He too was in the car returning home after visiting a church.) We covered all the topics, what to do about the house? how can I cut my budget? maybe move in with them (rent free)? other areas to cut money? and on and on. After a lengthy conversation, he said something that made me think, "Duh? What am I doing? Why didn't I go there first?" He said, "Alleen, we've done all we can do talking about this. It is time to pray."
Allen said, "In 15 minutes of prayer, God can untangle all of the problems and messes that the Devil is able to make in one year. God can accomplishes more in one hour of prayer than what we can accomplish in 10 years. So let's just pray." I was so overwhelmed with how I had forgotten to go to the Lord in prayer. Here I was trying to do it. To answer every question and doubt and overcome each obstacle on my own will. When, in reality, I was utterly and completely dependent upon the Lord to provide all of my needs--but failed to ask. Allen prayed the sweetest prayer for me as I felt the tears run down my face. I was crying at my lack of faith, at my own sin of control (I can handle this and do it all!), and of just plain tiredness. I felt so much better after Allen's prayers and my own silent prayers to the Lord. I turned it over to the Lord. I did not know how He would do it all, but knew, it was not up to me! He could and would bring His perfect will to fruition.
After hanging up with Allen, I walked into my sister's home where I was staying. She and my brother-in-law were on the way out the door, but as they were leaving, my brother-in-law said, "Oh yeah, I have a guy you need to call. He called and wants to rent your house." Wow! Talk about immediate answered prayer! I called immediately and yes, the Lord has provided a renter for two years. It is a unique situation that is a blessing to the family moving in and to me. God provided exactly what I needed and more.
Fund raising and all that goes with it. . .it is a daunting task. It is my least favorite part of the job. And it is how the Lord constantly reminds me that He is Lord and He cares for me and will always provide in his perfect timing all that I need. He shows me who is in control and that no matter what I do, He is the one to bring in the money and to meet my needs. It builds my faith. It stretches me. It draws me closer to God. It sanctifies me. And while I may not like it, in the end it builds me up. It reminds me of the Power of Prayer.
